354: Subtext
“Are you sure you’re alright in there?” Roxanne asked. “It’s awfully cramped.”
“Mm-hmm.” Ever nodded. “If I don’t hold her, she’ll fall off the chair.”
Roxanne conceded with a small smile. She could have told him about the 13 years of experience she had bathing patients; she was more than capable of preventing Zoe from slipping off the chair with one hand while washing her with the other. Of course, her years of experience had also been spent with family members of those who looked after the terminally ill. She had become rather adept at listening for the subtext behind the spoken words.
“Is there a story behind that bit of string?” The registered nurse asked, gesturing at the damp thread tied to Zoe’s left wrist. “It’s been there since I started looking after her.”
Ever had no choice but to look at the Fates’ thread. Wincing, he heard their tri-layered voices in his mind: three days left…
“It’s a long story.”
The RN nodded slowly, not prodding further.
“Roxanne…”
“Mmm?” She wrung out some warm, soapy water over Zoe’s hunched, shrunken shoulders.
“Do you think it would be possible for me to finish bathing Zoe?”
She kept her circular movements, but slowed down slightly. “I’m almost done.”
Ever paused. “I want to spend the remaining time I have left with her, just the two of us.”
Not much in the way of subtext there; she had said that she liked how present Ever was. This naturally extended to his choice of words.
“OK then.” She shuffled off to the side, packing her bag which was against the dark-blue, tiled wall. Half a minute later, she had hoisted it onto her shoulder. “Watch her breathing, the SOC is right here. You’re OK with putting the nasal cannula in?”
“I’ll be OK.” He offered her a tired smile. She had seen this smile on nearly all of the carers of her patients. It was not the sort of tired that one could sleep off, but the type that was bone deep, like your body wanted to give up the ghost but your heart still had more beats to give. Roxanne closed the bathroom door behind her; a couple minutes later, Ever heard her car drive away.
✝What are you doing?✝
*Give me a minute.*
He knelt on the floor of the wet shower. He hooked his right arm under her knees, then brought his left behind her hunched back. He sat back onto his calves, pulling her off the chair and against his body. He then pivoted on his knees before placing her in the corner of the shower. Once she was secure, he stood up – then he started to undress.
✝Ever, I’ve got to tell you something.✝
*Ssshh.*
Author’s note: this song has been paired with this chapter for months in my head. It specifically goes with the next little bit. Enjoy!
Moments later when goosebumps tried desperately to trap the heat across his exposed skin, he turned on the water in the shower. Thankfully it was already warm, but he used his body to shield it from Zoe in case it had become cold again.
*Is that comfortable?*
✝… it’s nice.✝
He knelt once more, maneuvering Zoe slightly so that there was space for him. He settled himself against the wall, legs either side of her before pulling her close against him. The water fell, saturating them both. Ever closed his arms around Zoe’s tummy, just below her breasts, while he nuzzled his chin into her neck.
*You wanted to tell me something?*
In her mind’s mind, Zoe closed her eyes.
✝It can wait.✝
Awww 😭😭😭
Awww…..